"Welcome to my book. I assume you are reading this flap because you found the title inviting and are eager to read a book that promises no nonsense. Well, rest assured that there will be no nonsense. Here you will find only sense. And logic! And scientific facts! So please take a seat in an ergonomic chair, sit up straight, and read attentively. And pay no mind to that giraffe on a bicycle."--Front flap of book jacket.

Greg Heffley is not willing to be the odd man out. A dance at Greg's middle school has everyone scrambling to find a partner, and Greg is determined not to be left by the wayside. So he concocts a desperate plan to find someone -- anyone! -- to go with on the big night. But Greg's schemes go hilariously awry, and his only option is to attend the dance with his best friend, Rowley Jefferson, and a female classmate as a "group of friends." But the night...