"If you are interested in stories with happy endings, you would be better off watching some other movie," warns our narrator, Lemony Snicket. "In this movie," he continues gravely, "not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning and very few happy things in the middle." This is the story of the Baudelaire children -- three "clever and reasonably attractive orphans" -- who embark on a shaky adventure after their home burns down, killing...